Broken and Poured Out

I can't seem to get the concept of being broken and poured out from my mind.  If Jesus in his final meal with his friends told them "do this in remembrance of me" and he was indeed talking about the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the cup as Jenn Hatmaker proposes in her book Interrupted, then I want to walk in obedience and surrender to the call.  I want to be broken and poured out when God calls me to serve.  Don't worry, being broken and poured out doesn't mean a person is pitiful and slobbering tears all day long. It is a matter of the heart being open to the move of the Holy Spirit. It is a matter of letting go of self and the innate desire to preserve oneself and to stay in a safe, comfortable, challenge free state, and letting God have his way with you. I want God to have His way with me. 

I am speaking at a ladies retreat at my church. They are all dear to me. I want to give them everything God has given me to extend. I want to give them the word that God has impressed on my heart and I want to challenge them to live in deep community, filled with His Holy Spirit.  I want us to be a community of Jesus that doesn't hold back our hearts and our passions. I am weary of holding back. I am worn out from subdued Christianity.   Let's just give Jesus everything we have, all of our energy, all of our hearts and lay them out before the others and let them experience the love and grace of God through us.

Yesterday I had an amazing day. I spent the entire day with my sweet boy, Zack. I didn't have to share him at all. We did errands and we played trains. We watched movies of when he was 2 meeting Mickey and Whinny the Pooh at Disneyworld. We had a special day. I realized that so much of my time with Zack is divided. I am checking facebook, making dinner, cleaning, trying to get something done and I just miss him. He misses me too. He wants some time of undivided attention from Mom. I need to give him that time. It is good for our relationship and for our hearts. In a sense, it is a time of being broken and poured out for my boy. I say to Zack, I am yours today. I love you. What do you want to do?  I know we have to get things done.  Moms have lots to do, but yesterday was nice.  To be honest most Moms live their lives in a state of broken and poured out. They are constantly serving family and friends.  It is a glimpse of the gospel right there over your vacuum cleaner and bent over a sparkling clean toilet.  Broken and poured out... giving it your all... serving with the passion of being a blessing to those you love, those you are called to serve.

This weekend I want the women of Sojourn to step into the challenge of being broken and poured out. I want us to step into the call of giving our bodies, minds, hearts, souls, lives to Jesus. I want us to serve the body with all the giftedness that God has given to us and to hold nothing back. I want us to serve our husbands, children, friends, coworkers. I want us to serve the poor and lonely, the hurting and afraid. I want to stop living such a Judy centered life and live the life that God has called me to live.  If you want to gain life, you must lose life.

^{Mark 8:34} Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[b] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. 

^{Mark 9: 35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”}

^{These passages in Mark come with a secret promise. If you lay your life down, God will bless it, God will bless you.  I am going to venture to say that in laying down your life you will find your life more full than you ever dreamed possible.}